WOW. Cancer Season, you’re kicking my ass, sweetheart. This water world of emotion has almost been too much for me. I’m ready for fiery Leo to make his entrance and bring us all some fun energy. ANYWAY.

I’m just going to shoot you straight. Two months ago or so, I joined a year long membership program called To Be Magnetic, which is essentially an entire library of guided workshops including hypnotic meditations, journal prompts and MUCH more. It’s design is set up to help people unblock engrained subconscious beliefs we picked up in childhood, and utilize neural plasticity to help overwrite neural pathways and instill new beliefs. A wildly simple example could be: as a kid, your mom was extremely protective and constantly warned you about not talking to strangers, so now, you have a constant anxiety or fear about meeting new people. You may pull up that memory and gently re-parent yourself with something like, “My mom loves me so much, she was doing what she thought was right to protect me. I have picked up her fear, and it doesn’t belong to me. It is safe to meet new people, and I like new people. I trust myself to decide if strangers are safe for me.” Again, wildly simple, but you get the idea. All this happens in a hypnotic state, preceded or followed by journal prompts to help reinforce these new thoughts into your conscious mind, so you can establish new behaviors.

This is highly sensitive, and I recommend doing it alongside therapy or a strong emotional and mental support system. If you have experienced serious trauma, this is especially important. The first few sessions I did were extremely emotional and intense, and ultimately I gave myself space to work through it, but I cannot stress enough how important it is to take care of yourself, and know what tools you need to accomplish your goals.

I’ve been rigorous in this work, and subsequently, live healing manifestations have occurred that have changed my life. I started this because I’ve always been a good manifest-er in many ways, but it seems the things I want most in life have just had a block around them, so I was looking for something to tell me why all the “positive vibes” in the world haven’t been bringing in what I want!

What I’ve learned is that manifestations have nothing to do with good/positive vibes, and everything to do with your self worth. You can only manifest what you TRULY feel worthy of with your entire being. I saw this first hand, because the things that have always shown up easily for me have been things I had no doubt about. I just knew they were coming and they did. The things I doubt my worth around the most often come in slowly, in spurts or don’t last. My mind was blown when I actually made a list of all the manifestations that just landed in my lap, and how easily it happened, and what my beliefs were. I compared it to my beliefs around the manifestations I haven’t yet received, and it is abundantly clear that I don’t feel one hundred percent in my worth around those things.

The BONKERS part, is the material things are mattering less and less the further in this work I go, because the DEEP sense of security, love and peace I feel in myself is a high that no G-Wagen can bring- although I will have one someday.

Let me give you an example- and I have discussed this with my mom, so I’m sure she won’t mind me sharing. In a hypnosis, I was called to a time when I was about 9 or 10. I remembered having friends over at our house, and my mom not really engaging with my friends. She seemed like there were about a billion places she’d rather be than in a house full of screaming girls (which, I get it). In that childhood hypnosis, I felt myself wanting my mom to be the mom that was all “hip” and in with the kids, and hanging out with us. So in the meditation, I was guided to ask for what I needed, and so I did. I said, “Mom, I really want you to hang out with me and my friends. I want you to want to be here and engage and have fun with us!” And she said she’d love to and joined in with our sleepover.

Cut to the following weekend, my boyfriend and I were going to my mom’s house for Memorial Day. We planned a little BBQ. When I arrived, completely without prompting, my mom said, “I bought some extra food and I thought you could invite [your friend] over. My jaw hit the M’F-in FLOOR. I hadn’t told anyone about the meditation I had, and here my mom was, INVITING MY FRIENDS OVER. Two of them came over with us and we had the best time all talking together and just enjoying the day.

It took me a couple weeks to really wrap my mind around this, and it wasn’t even the first real-life healing that had happened. These were happening left and right and I was just stunned. I finally brought it up to my mom (because, let’s face it- these concepts aren’t really mainstream, and she’s a trained therapist of 30+ years), and I told her about my meditation, feelings around her and my friends, and the Memorial Day manifestation. She shared that I was right in my meditation, and that she grew up in an environment that kept adults and children very separate. The kids lived in their own world, and they were not to cross into the adult’s lives and vice versa. She said raising us, she still believed that there was no reason for parents to be all up in kids’ business- let them be kids! To be clear, my mother was NEVER cold or detached. She’s very loving. She just expressed in her upbringing, adults have their roles and kids have their’s.

Not only had this very specific asking been healed, but now I had a whole new perspective with which to see my upbringing. I’ve gone in and done meditations around my dad as well and have had real-time feedback. I’ve done them with exes and have had real-time manifestations arise in my current relationship. I’ve gone back and done these around my brother- mostly me apologizing for being such a dick of a big sister. This shit is HARD. And at times, ugly. Especially when it’s one-sided. I don’t expect anyone to do this along with me, but I know that means that I may change and certain things may not change with me, and that’s ok. I’ve also learned that I’m much more flexible and open to change than I thought I was. A lot of my rigid behavior or thoughts are just fear-based patterning and engrained to protect me from not living some of the mistakes I’ve made again.

This process is breaking loose things my subconscious that I haven’t wanted to deal with or didn’t even know existed. I’ve seen memories of being bullied, memories of needing to stand up for myself and I didn’t, and memories of picking up someone else’s beliefs and allowing them to become mine. Undoing the limitations I have on myself has superseded any physical or material manifestation I’ve been chasing, and I’m so deeply invested in working on myself FOR myself, that I don’t really care how long it takes to get the G-Wagen in the garage anymore. And by the way, yes, I want a G-Wagen more than anything, and ANYTHING you want is valid. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for wanting what you want- that’s a them problem!

Through this, I’ve discovered Human Design, which is a whole other self-discovery path, and I’m so enjoying the process of opening my mind and heart to new ideas and new perspectives. Sometimes getting a new angle on an old problem is all you need to solve it and release it. Actually, I’d say that’s the way all the time, just based on what I’ve experienced. When I was 14, my therapist said, “Well- here’s the obstacle- you can go through it, under it, over it or around it, but one way or another, you will overcome it if you set out to.” That’s taken on a whole new meaning for me.

So there you have it. I didn’t write for June because I was so deep in this that I couldn’t express myself. Oh, and by the way, PLENTY of physical manifestations have occurred in this too- but now they’re just icing on the cake and make life that much sweeter. I actually started a private instagram account where I photo-document these every day magics, just so I don’t forget how lovely they are! Highly recommend.

I am so looking forward to the rest of the year and what’s to come of this work.

xoxo,

Liz

***Please note- there’s no “code” or anything I get from sharing To Be Magnetic or Human Design- they’re just really working for me so instead of being vague, I wanted to be specific. Please follow your own path when deciding if a program is right for you.