Has everyone here seen the Kasey Musgraves Christmas special? If not, it’s adorable so go watch it on Prime. I’ve had her song “Glittery” stuck in my head for a week now. Last week I was talking with a charge nurse from Barnes Jewish Hospital (STL for those out of state), and she said the best analogy she could give to Coronavirus is to pretend that shit’s glitter and that it’s everywhere.

A revelation. I can relate to glitter. And you can relate to glitter. That shit is everywhere. It’s in your hair, your car, your bed, your clothes, on your cat, your dog, your mom, your cousin. If you stick a finger in some glitter, it will keep you company for weeks. When I got home that day, I looked at my face, and sure enough, I had glitter stuck to my cheek from my projects the day before! And I had showered! It made me want to take my art box full of glitter to the nearest Walmart and throw it on everything, because maybe the visual would help other people conceptualize what we’re dealing with.

That aside, I’m not struggling with most aspects of social distancing. I actually love it. I am getting my life together, losing weight, treating my skin and my hair right and focusing on things that I otherwise don’t have time for. What I am struggling with is not being able to lift heavy weights at the gym, not being able to just hug my parents, not knowing when we will see my brother again, and not being able to support my friends who are having their own ups and downs.

The most heartbreaking thing for me has been just having to sit at home and watch people hurt and suffer. If you’ve read a particular post of mine, then you know I’ve dealt with isolation, anxiety and depression before, and it doesn’t hurt that my mom is a therapist. I feel equipped to feel my feelings and process through them relatively quickly given the current conditions. What sucks balls (can I say that?) is not being able to run to a friend’s side when they’re hurting or drop everything and just pick something up at the store for someone. I mean, every time I enter a grocery store I feel like I’m being subjected to some form of mild torture/trauma.

I’ve noticed everyone has an opinion about this, myself included, so it’s hard to just shut it off and worry about myself, but that’s what I have to do. I used to check the Missouri Covid stats daily, and I quit doing that. I check headlines and unless it’s something breaking, I don’t even look. I’m doing my absolute best to worry about myself and connect with my people when I’m feeling good and have good spirits to offer. I also reach out to them when I’m struggling. It’s profound the effect just listening and being listened to can have.

Anyway, this pandemic is anything but glittery and far from over, but I sincerely hope everyone is searching themselves for the answer to what feels good for them. I read that the Earth’s seismic activity has decreased since the pandemic started- the Earth is literally vibrating less and calming its frequency. It’s truly incredible. So while outwardly we’ve been forced calm ourselves, I hope we can all follow suit inwardly and find a way to do the same.