You guys, this week was EW. I swear to god I cried more this week than I have in the last two years. And I. Don’t. Know. Why. Like nothing was really wrong? And then the more I tried to stop the shitty feelings, the worse they got. And the worse they got, the more guilt I felt. Like, why should I feel like this? I have a really good life. I have everything I said I wanted even just six months ago, and I’m going to cry over nothing? Really?

And when I say nothing is wrong, I mean, nothing is really GOING wrong. I have fairly normal adulty things happening… I’m trying to buy a house, figuring out how the fuck to do taxes now that I own a company, I’m interviewing for a new role with my full time company, and contemplating dating again (HOLY FUCK SAY WHAT). Pretty normal things. And just last week in Rooted + Rising, I acknowledged how proud I am of myself for being ok with not being ok, yet here I am sobbing because the house on the street I wanted only has two bedrooms and not three. YOU’RE FUCKING KIDDING ME. Jesus.

Anyway, my point is that sometimes Mercury retrogrades and ruins your life. Kidding!! (For real though, we can talk about Mercury Retrograde anytime.) But seriously, bullshit weeks just happen. And even though I consciously know that it will pass, and I know if I can accept the feelings they’ll move through me faster, sometimes it just doesn’t click that way as quickly as I’d like.

I’m super thankful no one punched me in the face this week because I for sure wouldn’t have blamed anyone. I was fine one minute, then I was crying, then I was fine, then I was ignoring everyone, then I was fine, then I was complaining about how sad I was, then I was crying, then I was fine, then I was sleeping for 10 hours. I was exhausted by my antics. And I couldn’t get it under control! The more I tried, the worse it got! Friday night I think I went to bed at 9 pm because I was so tired of my shit!

By the weekend, I was supposed to go to Mardi Gras, but I was fully ready to stay home and really force myself to think my way out of my bad mood. Um, yeah, that works every time, right? One look at Uber’s surge prices and I hit the group chat with, “I’m not coming, have fun!” to which, they responded, “We’ll come over and split the Uber.” I’m a pushover.

I have to admit, I’m grateful my friends forced me out of the house to go to Mardi Gras. Wouldn’t you know, a day spent not obsessing over every grievance I could think of was pretty much what I needed to shake the angsty melodramatic attitude I’d been harboring around.

I learned myself a lil lesson this week, so if I can lend a tool to add to your stressy-pants arsenal: the next time you’re feeling a little anxious or overwhelmed, seriously try a big distraction. Get out of the house if you can and just do something that doesn’t allow you to THINK. Turn ya brain off, sis. Google “flow state” and then do things that get you there. To be clear, I don’t consider ducking from flying beads and tip-toeing around vomit at Mardi Gras a “flow” activity, but you get the point. Do something.

One thing I started doing last year is volunteering. I usually volunteer once a week, but due to scheduling conflicts, I haven’t been in about three weeks, and I’ve noticed a big difference in my attitude! Volunteering takes you out of your own head, and helps you focus on someone or something else, and also makes you feel good as hell (you sang that in a Lizzo voice, didn’t you?). I highly recommend finding an organization to get involved with if you have the time! I just do an hour a week, and I help kids with various disabilities learn to ride horses. It’s the actual best ever.

So, to wrap up this rambling. It’s totally fine to be a baby sometimes and let minor inconveniences of life bring you down. Ya just gotta remember that you’re responsible for your feelings, good or bad. Life can pile up on our shoulders, and sometimes that can super suck. It’s fine to wallow a little, but it’s also a really good idea to try new strategies of picking ourselves up when we feel bogged down. And it’s also a really good idea to loop your loved ones in. They can help so much more when they know you’ve hit a rough patch, and my guess is, they will want to help you feel better! They’ll be able to respect your boundaries when you ask for alone time, or drag you out of the house when they know your vampire ass needs to see the light of day! Talk it out, baby girl!!

That’s all I’m thinking about tonight.